After Tito – Tito, after Ron – Ron

In the organisations there were just books from Ron. If anybody was on a course in the Scientology organisation he would notice that people were reading just Ron. There is no other literature – just Ron’s books. And “Dear Alice”… Why “Alice in wonderland” from Lewis Carroll.. just because sentences from his book are perfect for doing exercises in communication courses. Alice in Wonderland was the only book allowed to be read other then L.Ron Hubbard.

I soon noticed in Scientology lots of fanaticism. Maybe because I just came from a socialist state and because my father was a high ranked army officer. These weren’t the only similarities that I noticed from both leaders Ron and Tito. I noticed also that Scientology wants to preserve everything after Ron’s death. It is the same when Yugoslavia

wanted to preserved everything after Tito’s death.

This is impossible! First because time always goes on and one person can never be a standard for something that happens after his death. Yugoslavia dissolved eleven years after Tito died. So… he didn’t invent a magical formula for co-existence of nations in one state. He was afraid of nationalism. For all the years he ruled he was always talking about nationalistic ideas as devils. Everything that smelled of nationalism wasextinguished in Yugoslavia . Nobody talked about that openly. But everybody talked about that secretly. There was so much hatred which was not allowed to develop in Tito’s years which then exploded in war in the nineties. Of course this would not have happened if Tito would have allowed different political parties, but then we would not have one political system! Tito couldn’t  just wrap his brain around it. He did his best. He thought that he would prevent hostilities and animosities in the country if he would just forbid other opinions that he didn’t like. Yes, he forbade them, but he didn’t silence them. They were just quiet and as soon as Tito was not there any more they were loud again. Then there was war again and nobody could prevent it at all. Not even me. I thought that if Scientology will prevent war like that then I will go study it.

Then I found out that war couldn’t be prevented at all. One can change just himself. One can’t possible change another. Even if I would get auditing in Scientology – that is a therapy which I longed for. I thought that I just have to get auditing and then I will be OK. I was 15 years in Scientology and I didn’t get any auditing… I mean of course I got some minor stuff. And when I saw people who got auditing I was not astonished. They didn’t change a lot. Some

changed of course.

So… after I moved from Vienna to my country and I was out of Scientology I was thinking… too bad for me I didn’t get anything from Scientology – any auditing – so… and here I am with all my insanity…

But then I found Abraham teaching and I found out that everything is available for me right now, right here. All I have to do is to find a best feeling thought in the moment. That’s it! That’s it to therapy! That is all we need. Everything is within us. The whole Universe is inside us. The paradox is that we think since we have a physical body, that we need something from outside. We don’t need anything from outside and we can’t change

anything from outside – just our thoughts.

So… that was my big realisation after Scientology. Was the fifteen years inside in vain? No… this was my learning. Scientology brought me to Abraham. Actually… the death of my boyfriend brought me to Scientology. This was my next logical step. And after being inside in Scientology I found out that this is not something I want to do and study. But I would never have found out if I were not “inside”.

So… I needed that experience to find the next logical step, which is Abraham. Now I am at peace. Now I know that I am on the right path.